Sunday, 2 September 2018
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Write Like They Ski in Vancouver
Ten Tips To Improve Your Writing In 2010
Today it seems like everyone is writing something - emails, blogs, tweets, you name it. Unfortunately, the Internet encourages no thought to go unpublished, and so while the amount of content has increased exponentially, the quality of it has not.As a result, our ability to communicate effectively has been dramatically affected. Never in history has so much been written and so little actually said. Social media certainly hasn't helped. Twitter, for example, deliberately handicaps our ability to communicate well by limiting messages to just 140 characters. Texting is helping create a nation of illiterates who only know how to "write" in a curious shorthand devoid of vowels.
If you write (and these days who doesn't?), here are ten tips that can immediately help you improve your writing so you can communicate with clarity, influence your peers (and hopefully your boss), and reduce your stress when it's time to put words on digital paper:
1. Use simple sentences. Run-on sentences and random thoughts strung together quickly handicap your writing and can create confusion resulting in inaction. Here's an example of two emails saying the same thing: "In response to today's budgetary meeting outlining goals and actionable items relevant to our marketing strategy draft proposal pursuant to management's strategic business program, please review and assess your department's 1Q budgetary requirements going forward and provide me with your bottomline request ASAP today, before COBD."
"I need your first quarter marketing budget by 5pm today."
Which one of these messages do you think will get a faster response?
2. Pay attention to punctuation. Email and texting have helped foster a general disregard for punctuation these days and as a consequence people use it poorly or not at all, which can cause unintended confusion. Don't believe me? Here's the same sentence with two very different meanings: "My partner arrived dead, last to the meeting."
"My partner arrived dead last to the meeting."
Punctuation is your friend. Use it well.
3. Use plain language. Think in terms of "could my mother understand this?" when you sit down to write something. This will work wonders on a business plan, a marketing strategy report, even everyday emails. Purge your writing of the trendy and the corporate and use, as my old journalism professor used to say, a nickel word instead of a twenty-five-center. Those of you who have been in and around the corporate world for any length of time know exactly what I am talking about: fuzzy, convoluted industry weirdspeak like "authoring solutions-based metrics". Avoid confusing industry buzzwords whenever possible. If your writing causes your readers to lunge for a glossary, think hard about a better way to say it. And if you've used words such as "implementation", "impacting", and "facilitate" within the last thirty days I have two words for you: STOP IT.
4. Use an active voice. This simple tip is a great way to quickly punch up your writing. Instead of using the dreary passive voice, use the livelier active voice. Notice the difference in this example:
Passive: The car was driven by me.
Active: I drove the car.
5. Tell the whole story. Everything you write should have a beginning and an end with everything else falling logically in between. It sounds simple, but you'd be amazed at how many people violate this simple rule. We've all received those disjointed emails where it seems as if you're missing a chunk of the message, leaving you saying "huh?" Everything you write should be able to stand alone. Don't take for granted that the reader knows what you're talking about. Start at the beginning and end at the end.
6. Put everything in context. If you're writing a proposal, a report, a white paper, a piece of sales literature, or just a simple request for something, put it in context. Show why it's important, what it means to the reader, what the result will be. Context adds value to what you write.
7. Be conversational. Does your writing often sound stilted or forced? That's probably because you're trying too hard. Relax. Write the way you speak. That doesn't mean be sloppy or slangy, it simply means you should be more concerned with saying it clearly than saying it "properly."
8. Write first, edit later. Don't try to make your writing perfect from the start. If you agonize over every word, you'll never finish. You can always go back later and change things. Get your ideas down first, then go back and edit. You'll be amazed at how much quicker and easier that is, once the actual writing is out of the way. And you may be surprised at how little you change because you weren't second-guessing yourself while you were writing.
9. Proofread. Then proofread again. We all make mistakes. But proofreading gives you a chance to fix them before they see the light of day. Never trust computer spellchecking - it's amazing how many weighs their are two spell things.
10. Reread. Communications travel at the speed of light these days. So many people hit "send" without rereading what they've written. Resist the urge. Go get a cup of coffee, then come back and read what you've just written. A breath of fresh air may give you fresh insight into what you were trying to say. Perhaps the perfect phrase that was eluding you will pop up. Maybe a better, simpler way to present the idea will come to you. A tiny bit of procrastination can be a good thing.
So there you have it. Good writing is like golf - many people claim to be good at it, few really are. But if you use these ten simple tips, you'll be well on your way to clear, concise, and compelling writing.
Jim Schakenbach is a freelance writer and marketing consultant. Visit his website at http://www.bigwordscontent.com.
Today it seems like everyone is writing something - emails, blogs, tweets, you name it. Unfortunately, the Internet encourages no thought to go unpublished, and so while the amount of content has increased exponentially, the quality of it has not.As a result, our ability to communicate effectively has been dramatically affected. Never in history has so much been written and so little actually said. Social media certainly hasn't helped. Twitter, for example, deliberately handicaps our ability to communicate well by limiting messages to just 140 characters. Texting is helping create a nation of illiterates who only know how to "write" in a curious shorthand devoid of vowels.
If you write (and these days who doesn't?), here are ten tips that can immediately help you improve your writing so you can communicate with clarity, influence your peers (and hopefully your boss), and reduce your stress when it's time to put words on digital paper:
1. Use simple sentences. Run-on sentences and random thoughts strung together quickly handicap your writing and can create confusion resulting in inaction. Here's an example of two emails saying the same thing: "In response to today's budgetary meeting outlining goals and actionable items relevant to our marketing strategy draft proposal pursuant to management's strategic business program, please review and assess your department's 1Q budgetary requirements going forward and provide me with your bottomline request ASAP today, before COBD."
"I need your first quarter marketing budget by 5pm today."
Which one of these messages do you think will get a faster response?
2. Pay attention to punctuation. Email and texting have helped foster a general disregard for punctuation these days and as a consequence people use it poorly or not at all, which can cause unintended confusion. Don't believe me? Here's the same sentence with two very different meanings: "My partner arrived dead, last to the meeting."
"My partner arrived dead last to the meeting."
Punctuation is your friend. Use it well.
3. Use plain language. Think in terms of "could my mother understand this?" when you sit down to write something. This will work wonders on a business plan, a marketing strategy report, even everyday emails. Purge your writing of the trendy and the corporate and use, as my old journalism professor used to say, a nickel word instead of a twenty-five-center. Those of you who have been in and around the corporate world for any length of time know exactly what I am talking about: fuzzy, convoluted industry weirdspeak like "authoring solutions-based metrics". Avoid confusing industry buzzwords whenever possible. If your writing causes your readers to lunge for a glossary, think hard about a better way to say it. And if you've used words such as "implementation", "impacting", and "facilitate" within the last thirty days I have two words for you: STOP IT.
4. Use an active voice. This simple tip is a great way to quickly punch up your writing. Instead of using the dreary passive voice, use the livelier active voice. Notice the difference in this example:
Passive: The car was driven by me.
Active: I drove the car.
5. Tell the whole story. Everything you write should have a beginning and an end with everything else falling logically in between. It sounds simple, but you'd be amazed at how many people violate this simple rule. We've all received those disjointed emails where it seems as if you're missing a chunk of the message, leaving you saying "huh?" Everything you write should be able to stand alone. Don't take for granted that the reader knows what you're talking about. Start at the beginning and end at the end.
6. Put everything in context. If you're writing a proposal, a report, a white paper, a piece of sales literature, or just a simple request for something, put it in context. Show why it's important, what it means to the reader, what the result will be. Context adds value to what you write.
7. Be conversational. Does your writing often sound stilted or forced? That's probably because you're trying too hard. Relax. Write the way you speak. That doesn't mean be sloppy or slangy, it simply means you should be more concerned with saying it clearly than saying it "properly."
8. Write first, edit later. Don't try to make your writing perfect from the start. If you agonize over every word, you'll never finish. You can always go back later and change things. Get your ideas down first, then go back and edit. You'll be amazed at how much quicker and easier that is, once the actual writing is out of the way. And you may be surprised at how little you change because you weren't second-guessing yourself while you were writing.
9. Proofread. Then proofread again. We all make mistakes. But proofreading gives you a chance to fix them before they see the light of day. Never trust computer spellchecking - it's amazing how many weighs their are two spell things.
10. Reread. Communications travel at the speed of light these days. So many people hit "send" without rereading what they've written. Resist the urge. Go get a cup of coffee, then come back and read what you've just written. A breath of fresh air may give you fresh insight into what you were trying to say. Perhaps the perfect phrase that was eluding you will pop up. Maybe a better, simpler way to present the idea will come to you. A tiny bit of procrastination can be a good thing.
So there you have it. Good writing is like golf - many people claim to be good at it, few really are. But if you use these ten simple tips, you'll be well on your way to clear, concise, and compelling writing.
Jim Schakenbach is a freelance writer and marketing consultant. Visit his website at http://www.bigwordscontent.com.
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Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Akinyi Princess of K'Orinda-Yimbo
Blueworld Blogger beetge vs Akinyi Princess of K’Orinda-Yimbo
Religion is nothing more than a man-made attempt at establishing a relationship with God but not on God's terms, rather the terms of man. I am a devout Christian, a Pastor and a Prophet, and I can honestly say that I do not have ONE religious hair on my body. (I used to have, but by the Grace of God, I grew up) God started out His dealings with man through a Father and Son (Daughter) relationship. Man messed it up, and God sent His Son to come and fix up that mess. Man, however preferred buildings, rituals, structures, specific days, a rule book, special clothing etc. to the Grace and Relationship idea that God had. Churches today have become clubs with exclusive memberships, rather that the Body of Christ. Let them keep their buildings and clubs, daniibee, you are much better off with your relationship.
This is a blog from the "Evolution. Old-Age Earth. IT'S A HOAX!" group. I see a lot of talk about proving "theories" this way and the other. Let's just rewind and settle down. We all know that since you can't re-create God in a lab, He is not scientifically explained, and thus we find Him by FAITH (our unshakable belief in Him) - this is also true regarding evolution. It is IMPOSSIBLE to re-create evolution in a lab, thus the followers of evolution has just as much FAITH (their unshakable belief in it) in the theory as Christians have in God. The only way to explain either point is by finding evidence of its existence in history. Let's look at an example: I was not here when Jan van Riebeeck colonized the Cape in 1652, but I believe it to be so, because of the EVIDENCE left by him. Now the evidence left by van Riebeeck does not even closely resemble modern day evidence – Today we would leave photographs, home-movies, entries in government databases, (ID, driver’s licenses, voter’s rolls etc.) that could positively prove that we existed - but these things never existed in his day, thus we have to look for another type of evidence. For example: 1) He might have left a diary, some official documents. These may be intact, or in various stages of decay. In the latter instance, the evidence left is not absolute, it is subject to the interpretation of the people that found and studied the evidence. Thus the conclusions are mere conjecture, NOT 100% factual. In terms of scientific jargon, this is called a hypothesis, and when some (not ALL) proof could be added, a THEORY. Only when the theory is 100% proven can it be called FACT. The problem with this kind of evidence is that it is not only diaries (FACTUAL) that are written, but also novels (FICTION). Someone could have been bored and wrote a fictitious diary about a fictitious man named Jan van Riebeeck. In the same way, when we go to a museum and look at a model of a dinosaur, we are NOT looking at a FACTUAL re-creation of the beast, we are looking at how people pieced a skeleton (100% proof) together, and then interpreted the structure (conjecture according to the level of their current knowledge of the subject – which is also subject to change) to add muscle and skin, in order to render a MODEL of what they perceived that specific creature to have looked like. 2) But van Riebeeck could have left another kind of evidence, something that would tell us that he had to have existed in order for the evidence to exist, he also physically had to have existed as well. For instance, he could leave his homestead behind, something that only he created, something that bears his name on the cornerstone, possibly with a date engraved as well. This is something that has been handed down to his descendants thorough the generations, descendents that could possibly even bear his name. This type of evidence is 100% factual. The mere existence of this evidence means that van Riebeeck must have existed as well. Thus, when we test theories of faith, we have to subject them to the same type of test. We cannot use different types of tests to either prove one theory or disprove another. Next: Lets set up a test!
Religion is nothing more than a man-made attempt at establishing a relationship with God but not on God's terms, rather the terms of man. I am a devout Christian, a Pastor and a Prophet, and I can honestly say that I do not have ONE religious hair on my body. (I used to have, but by the Grace of God, I grew up) God started out His dealings with man through a Father and Son (Daughter) relationship. Man messed it up, and God sent His Son to come and fix up that mess. Man, however preferred buildings, rituals, structures, specific days, a rule book, special clothing etc. to the Grace and Relationship idea that God had. Churches today have become clubs with exclusive memberships, rather that the Body of Christ. Let them keep their buildings and clubs, daniibee, you are much better off with your relationship.
This is a blog from the "Evolution. Old-Age Earth. IT'S A HOAX!" group. I see a lot of talk about proving "theories" this way and the other. Let's just rewind and settle down. We all know that since you can't re-create God in a lab, He is not scientifically explained, and thus we find Him by FAITH (our unshakable belief in Him) - this is also true regarding evolution. It is IMPOSSIBLE to re-create evolution in a lab, thus the followers of evolution has just as much FAITH (their unshakable belief in it) in the theory as Christians have in God. The only way to explain either point is by finding evidence of its existence in history. Let's look at an example: I was not here when Jan van Riebeeck colonized the Cape in 1652, but I believe it to be so, because of the EVIDENCE left by him. Now the evidence left by van Riebeeck does not even closely resemble modern day evidence – Today we would leave photographs, home-movies, entries in government databases, (ID, driver’s licenses, voter’s rolls etc.) that could positively prove that we existed - but these things never existed in his day, thus we have to look for another type of evidence. For example: 1) He might have left a diary, some official documents. These may be intact, or in various stages of decay. In the latter instance, the evidence left is not absolute, it is subject to the interpretation of the people that found and studied the evidence. Thus the conclusions are mere conjecture, NOT 100% factual. In terms of scientific jargon, this is called a hypothesis, and when some (not ALL) proof could be added, a THEORY. Only when the theory is 100% proven can it be called FACT. The problem with this kind of evidence is that it is not only diaries (FACTUAL) that are written, but also novels (FICTION). Someone could have been bored and wrote a fictitious diary about a fictitious man named Jan van Riebeeck. In the same way, when we go to a museum and look at a model of a dinosaur, we are NOT looking at a FACTUAL re-creation of the beast, we are looking at how people pieced a skeleton (100% proof) together, and then interpreted the structure (conjecture according to the level of their current knowledge of the subject – which is also subject to change) to add muscle and skin, in order to render a MODEL of what they perceived that specific creature to have looked like. 2) But van Riebeeck could have left another kind of evidence, something that would tell us that he had to have existed in order for the evidence to exist, he also physically had to have existed as well. For instance, he could leave his homestead behind, something that only he created, something that bears his name on the cornerstone, possibly with a date engraved as well. This is something that has been handed down to his descendants thorough the generations, descendents that could possibly even bear his name. This type of evidence is 100% factual. The mere existence of this evidence means that van Riebeeck must have existed as well. Thus, when we test theories of faith, we have to subject them to the same type of test. We cannot use different types of tests to either prove one theory or disprove another. Next: Lets set up a test!
Friday, 13 March 2009
Email Spoofing – When Freedom Fetters
www.akinyi-princess.de
I just received an email apparently coming from myself! Of course I was curious and opened it – et voila (sorry I don't have the French bits and pieces to spell this correctly) – with the dearest of husbands and four children between us, I was being offered Viagra. Laughing, I crawled down and clicked the sender’s unsubscribe. Whoosh! I landed on a Canadian website selling me even more dozens of different potency pills! You're up, you don't quit, eh.
I’ve deleted everything, but have I really escaped this net, medium fish that I am? I’ve activated my Spam terminator to sweep my PC three times, but am I really safe? After all, it was this same software supposed to see to it that none of these good fellas get to me and my precious files, who failed to notice the spoofing in the first place – and set me up like a sitting duck. And Viagra seems to be a bestseller.
Definition according to Toney Bradley, CISSP-ISSAP: Email spoofing is the act of forging the header information on an email so that it appears to have originated from somewhere other than its true source. The protocol used for email, SMTP (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol), does not have any authentication to verify the source. By changing the header information, someone can make an email appear to come from whomever they choose. Miscreants can even copy the targeted organization's logo and formatting, to give the email an authentic look and feel.
Email spoofing is used by virus authors. By propagating a virus with a spoofed email source, it is more difficult for users who receive the virus to track its source to stop the virus.
Email spoofing is also used by distributors of spam to hide their identity. In March 2009, About.com's daily newsletter was the victim of a high volume of spoofed email from spammers attempting to sell Viagra. Because the email contained About.com's logo and address, some recipients believed it actually originated from About.com.
Well, I hope my terminator did the deed. So I say: stay tuned and beware of the satyr Apky the Upright!
I just received an email apparently coming from myself! Of course I was curious and opened it – et voila (sorry I don't have the French bits and pieces to spell this correctly) – with the dearest of husbands and four children between us, I was being offered Viagra. Laughing, I crawled down and clicked the sender’s unsubscribe. Whoosh! I landed on a Canadian website selling me even more dozens of different potency pills! You're up, you don't quit, eh.
I’ve deleted everything, but have I really escaped this net, medium fish that I am? I’ve activated my Spam terminator to sweep my PC three times, but am I really safe? After all, it was this same software supposed to see to it that none of these good fellas get to me and my precious files, who failed to notice the spoofing in the first place – and set me up like a sitting duck. And Viagra seems to be a bestseller.
Definition according to Toney Bradley, CISSP-ISSAP: Email spoofing is the act of forging the header information on an email so that it appears to have originated from somewhere other than its true source. The protocol used for email, SMTP (Simple Mail Transfer Protocol), does not have any authentication to verify the source. By changing the header information, someone can make an email appear to come from whomever they choose. Miscreants can even copy the targeted organization's logo and formatting, to give the email an authentic look and feel.
Email spoofing is used by virus authors. By propagating a virus with a spoofed email source, it is more difficult for users who receive the virus to track its source to stop the virus.
Email spoofing is also used by distributors of spam to hide their identity. In March 2009, About.com's daily newsletter was the victim of a high volume of spoofed email from spammers attempting to sell Viagra. Because the email contained About.com's logo and address, some recipients believed it actually originated from About.com.
Well, I hope my terminator did the deed. So I say: stay tuned and beware of the satyr Apky the Upright!
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Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Never Saw A White, Only Pig-Pink
So our main Man is now at the White House. They're all claiming him. The Irish, complete with a priest, maintained yesterday that Barack Hussein Obama is Irish - his mother's family tree - to the tune of one eighth. One of the arguments was his name - Obama. The Irish made comparisons with O'Reilly and O'Donovan and O'Connor etc etc. I'M sorry, I'm a Kenyan and Luo so I know that the O simply denotes "male" in the name. The female would be "Abama". I'm Akinyi (morning child), and had I been born a boy I'd be Okinyi. The Germans a few months ago claimed that President Obama is 37% German. Curious, that all the pink people label him black. The Germans (like most pink people but USA ones) seem unable to refer to the man as "President Obama". No, he's "Black President Obama". Pigmentation-mania since the classification days of the Age o Enlightenment. Who is clinging to the past here and claiming to be modern and advanced? ZDF (Germany) televison reporters who should know better are the worst here. Why are these people so scared of their own sins against God and the entire creation, but so creative in making it all the sins of the rest of humankind and creation? There are no human "races" because humankind is of a single species. "Race" in the proper sense is or should be applied to that which has been bred such as dogs, cattle or horses. Breeding, clear and simple.
Why is President Obama's pink 50% "Black"?
Did you ever see Powell and Bush Jr next to each other and failed to see which one of them was pinker than the other? Surf the 'Net for colour pix of these two and compare!
Yesterday at the inauguration I almost laughed out loud when that reverend (or was it a pastor?) prayed to God, warning Him to emember that "we are Americans", and proceeding to mention Judgement Day! I could see us all - from worms, fish, butterflies, birds, rats & mice, humankind, you name it - as plaintiffs reciting the horrrors committed againt us all by the pink people. What a day that will be!
A lot of African-Americans were on live interviews yesterday with reporter questions along the lines of: How do you feel about having a black president at last? Engraved in catatonia, the pinks are still firmly of the belief tha they are top of the charts! I wish I'd been in Washington to be interviewed. I'd have replied: How does it feel to be unable to lie through your teeth that pig pink are the only ones with a licence to lead, the only ones with grey matter inside their crania? These reporters should have asked their own pink people: How do you feel about our losing our hegemonic delusions and what can we now do to wind the time back to our halcyon days?
It's time for some human mental wellness, and nearly all of them need it.
Why is President Obama's pink 50% "Black"?
Did you ever see Powell and Bush Jr next to each other and failed to see which one of them was pinker than the other? Surf the 'Net for colour pix of these two and compare!
Yesterday at the inauguration I almost laughed out loud when that reverend (or was it a pastor?) prayed to God, warning Him to emember that "we are Americans", and proceeding to mention Judgement Day! I could see us all - from worms, fish, butterflies, birds, rats & mice, humankind, you name it - as plaintiffs reciting the horrrors committed againt us all by the pink people. What a day that will be!
A lot of African-Americans were on live interviews yesterday with reporter questions along the lines of: How do you feel about having a black president at last? Engraved in catatonia, the pinks are still firmly of the belief tha they are top of the charts! I wish I'd been in Washington to be interviewed. I'd have replied: How does it feel to be unable to lie through your teeth that pig pink are the only ones with a licence to lead, the only ones with grey matter inside their crania? These reporters should have asked their own pink people: How do you feel about our losing our hegemonic delusions and what can we now do to wind the time back to our halcyon days?
It's time for some human mental wellness, and nearly all of them need it.
Friday, 29 August 2008
Barack Obama & John McCain - Who's the Better Sales Manager?
A Blogger on BNET wanted to know who the better Sales Manager is – Barack Obama or John McCain. He thinks McCain would be a fine Sales Manager because the man has family connections in the form of a father and a grandfather who were four-star admirals. And also because he is “flush with connections in the beer industry” which means he “has some strings to pull when something needs to get done.”
His second point is that McCain is nowhere near being bright. He “graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Navel Academy, thinks Iraq and Afghanistan share a border, thinks Al Qaeda is a Shiite organization, and doesn’t know how many houses he owns. And that’s fine with me. The last thing I want is a Sales Manager who is smarter than I am and thinks he knows my job better than I do.”
The third point is that McCain “knows when to kiss up.” McCain, in his 2000 campaigned, had an opponent who defeated him by applying racial slurs. But a few years later McCain “was hugging the man who laid the low blows. I want a Sales Manager who doesn’t hold a grudge and will kiss major tuchus (even Marketing tuchus) when it’s for the good of the team.”
Fourth, playing ball is McCain’s turf. Why? “In 1989, the Senate Ethics committee criticized McCain for exercising 'poor judgment' in regard to the Savings and Loan scandal, which ended up costing taxpayers around $125 billion dollars. That sounds like a bad thing, but I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to make sure the home team gets paid.”
The fifth point awards him the medal of being utterly ruthless. “He dropped his wheelchair-bound first wife for a hot, young, rich blond who could help his political career. Personally, I think his decision was a bit harsh, but… truth to tell, I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to give a non-performer the boot as soon as someone better comes along.”
Barack Obama on the other hand would be a lousy Sales Manager because:
He’s a wordy chap. If you ask him a question in a debate you’re going to “get a long and thoughtful answer. That would be boring during a sales meeting and deadly during a customer call.” The Blogger has “the feeling that making a sales call with Obama might end up being a “death by powerpoint” moment.”
Obama also “thinks in nuances” and clients dislike “complicated solutions to complex problems. They want simple solutions to complex problems. When you pin Obama down on specific issues, you get a complicated answer, free of jingoism. He’s more like an engineer or economist than a sales professional.”
“When he speaks, he speechifies” is Obama’s next unsuitability as a Sales Manager "Obama’s stump speech sounds like it ought to be on a (sic) office poster with a (sic) eagle and a sunset in the background. I don’t want a Sales Manager to inspire me; I want one who’ll get the job done.”
Obama is also “way too charismatic” because: “Getting massive crowds of people excited may be fine on the campaign trail, but I don’t want a Sales Manager who is a hundred times more charismatic than I am. I want the client to see me as the superhero and my Sales Manager as my sidekick, not the other way round.”
Barack Obama doesn’t close soon enough. “The democratic primary season dragged on and on and on. I kept expecting Obama to close the deal, but there was Hillary, popping up her pantsuit, every time he was on the edge of winning. If a Sales Manager comes on a sales call to help me close, I want somebody who can close that deal, and fast.”
The Blogger would rather have McCain than Obama at the sales manager’s desk. While not knowing which one of the two would be the better president, he concludes that George W Bush ”would have made an excellent Sales Manager.”
His second point is that McCain is nowhere near being bright. He “graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Navel Academy, thinks Iraq and Afghanistan share a border, thinks Al Qaeda is a Shiite organization, and doesn’t know how many houses he owns. And that’s fine with me. The last thing I want is a Sales Manager who is smarter than I am and thinks he knows my job better than I do.”
The third point is that McCain “knows when to kiss up.” McCain, in his 2000 campaigned, had an opponent who defeated him by applying racial slurs. But a few years later McCain “was hugging the man who laid the low blows. I want a Sales Manager who doesn’t hold a grudge and will kiss major tuchus (even Marketing tuchus) when it’s for the good of the team.”
Fourth, playing ball is McCain’s turf. Why? “In 1989, the Senate Ethics committee criticized McCain for exercising 'poor judgment' in regard to the Savings and Loan scandal, which ended up costing taxpayers around $125 billion dollars. That sounds like a bad thing, but I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to make sure the home team gets paid.”
The fifth point awards him the medal of being utterly ruthless. “He dropped his wheelchair-bound first wife for a hot, young, rich blond who could help his political career. Personally, I think his decision was a bit harsh, but… truth to tell, I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to give a non-performer the boot as soon as someone better comes along.”
Barack Obama on the other hand would be a lousy Sales Manager because:
He’s a wordy chap. If you ask him a question in a debate you’re going to “get a long and thoughtful answer. That would be boring during a sales meeting and deadly during a customer call.” The Blogger has “the feeling that making a sales call with Obama might end up being a “death by powerpoint” moment.”
Obama also “thinks in nuances” and clients dislike “complicated solutions to complex problems. They want simple solutions to complex problems. When you pin Obama down on specific issues, you get a complicated answer, free of jingoism. He’s more like an engineer or economist than a sales professional.”
“When he speaks, he speechifies” is Obama’s next unsuitability as a Sales Manager "Obama’s stump speech sounds like it ought to be on a (sic) office poster with a (sic) eagle and a sunset in the background. I don’t want a Sales Manager to inspire me; I want one who’ll get the job done.”
Obama is also “way too charismatic” because: “Getting massive crowds of people excited may be fine on the campaign trail, but I don’t want a Sales Manager who is a hundred times more charismatic than I am. I want the client to see me as the superhero and my Sales Manager as my sidekick, not the other way round.”
Barack Obama doesn’t close soon enough. “The democratic primary season dragged on and on and on. I kept expecting Obama to close the deal, but there was Hillary, popping up her pantsuit, every time he was on the edge of winning. If a Sales Manager comes on a sales call to help me close, I want somebody who can close that deal, and fast.”
The Blogger would rather have McCain than Obama at the sales manager’s desk. While not knowing which one of the two would be the better president, he concludes that George W Bush ”would have made an excellent Sales Manager.”
Monday, 11 August 2008
Corruption In German Officialdom?
The Nigerian are still world-renowned for their famous 419 - they ripped the entire wealthy world with it. In Germany it seems the Nigerians have succeeded in corrupting racist German officialdom and making them their partners in crime. The following round email came from the NGO and Activist group Refugee Forum:
Protest the Nigeria – German Deportation in Halberstadt. Call for protest against the deportation interviews in Halberstadt. Please help to spread the protest!! >From Thursday morning, 14th August 2008, there will be again interviews bythe Nigerian embassy at the GU-ZAST Halberstadt. There were such interviews before, in Munich in August last year, this year in Halberstadt in January, in Dortmund in February, in Ludwigsburg in March, in Munich in June and in Karlsruhe in July, now again in the ZAST in Halberstadt. Refugees from all over Germany are summoned. The aim is the deportation of every refugee who is identified to be Nigerian. Language features and appearances are the main criteria ... In the past, Africans e.g. from Liberia, Uganda, Togo and Sudan were interviewed and deported to Nigeria by means of these embassy interviews. The officials employed by the Nigerian embassy receive 250 € from the German authorities for every interview and another 250 € for every "travel document" ... Without any advance warning, the police comes to the refugees' places of residence to bring them to the embassy interview, no matter if they got a summons or not. This way, 2500 asylum seekers in Germany are to bedeported. Warn the refugees you know! We will protest against the interviews in Halberstadt simultaneously on 14th August in the morning...Zentrale Anlaufstelle für Asylbewerber (ZAST), Friedrich-Liszt-Straße 1a, 38820 Halberstadt. Let us call attention to these deportation interviews and be there. Moreover, you can write a fax to the Nigerian embassy: fax: +49-(030)21230212! and phone Halberstadt: phone: 03941-6640. Address of the Nigerian embassy in Germany for protest: Embassy of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Neue Jakobstr. 4, 10179 Berlin info@nigeriaembassygermany.org
What worries me here is why the embassy of a huge democratic republic has an email that ends with dot(org) and not dot(gov). Anybody with a viable answer?
Cheers
apky
Protest the Nigeria – German Deportation in Halberstadt. Call for protest against the deportation interviews in Halberstadt. Please help to spread the protest!! >From Thursday morning, 14th August 2008, there will be again interviews bythe Nigerian embassy at the GU-ZAST Halberstadt. There were such interviews before, in Munich in August last year, this year in Halberstadt in January, in Dortmund in February, in Ludwigsburg in March, in Munich in June and in Karlsruhe in July, now again in the ZAST in Halberstadt. Refugees from all over Germany are summoned. The aim is the deportation of every refugee who is identified to be Nigerian. Language features and appearances are the main criteria ... In the past, Africans e.g. from Liberia, Uganda, Togo and Sudan were interviewed and deported to Nigeria by means of these embassy interviews. The officials employed by the Nigerian embassy receive 250 € from the German authorities for every interview and another 250 € for every "travel document" ... Without any advance warning, the police comes to the refugees' places of residence to bring them to the embassy interview, no matter if they got a summons or not. This way, 2500 asylum seekers in Germany are to bedeported. Warn the refugees you know! We will protest against the interviews in Halberstadt simultaneously on 14th August in the morning...Zentrale Anlaufstelle für Asylbewerber (ZAST), Friedrich-Liszt-Straße 1a, 38820 Halberstadt. Let us call attention to these deportation interviews and be there. Moreover, you can write a fax to the Nigerian embassy: fax: +49-(030)21230212! and phone Halberstadt: phone: 03941-6640. Address of the Nigerian embassy in Germany for protest: Embassy of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Neue Jakobstr. 4, 10179 Berlin info@nigeriaembassygermany.org
What worries me here is why the embassy of a huge democratic republic has an email that ends with dot(org) and not dot(gov). Anybody with a viable answer?
Cheers
apky
Labels:
corruption,
germany,
giver-side of corruption,
liberia,
nigeria,
organised crime,
sierra leone,
togo,
uganda
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